Faithful Momma

10 Oct

One of the things I really want to do before I have a baby is get involved in a church. I want to do this for several reasons. First, while it is wonderful that Paul and I can talk about God together, we really need a community around us and a pastor to help guide us. Additionally, I really want to feel like I am part of a community, and I really want that for my children as well. Finally, our church provides meals for several weeks for women who recently gave birth. Need I say more? 😛

Paul and I (finally) found a church that we both like, and we are even going fairly regularly, but I still find that I have trouble with the application part . . . Lately I have been struggling especially with acting out my values with my family. I’ve written before about the importance of forgiving our families. After I wrote that post I felt so confident that I could forgive past wrongs and move on. Things aren’t so simple, though. Sometimes you have to forgive every single day. This is definitely something I struggle with. I mean, if it were me talking with Jesus instead of Peter, things would have gone more like this:

Holly: How many times should I forgive my family? Seven?

Jesus: Not seven times, but seven times seventy times.

Holly: Um, I mean, that seems like a lot. Could we compromise here? Like, what about 20 times? That’s still a lot of forgiveness. Or how about if I forgive them only if they stop needing forgiveness? Once they’ve learned to behave themselves, then I could forgive them for all of the past misbehavior.

Jesus: Yeah, Holly, I’m feeling like you’re not really getting this.

I joke about it, but this really is something that’s tough for me. My family is not religious and they can be very self-serving sometimes. It’s easy for me to get frustrated with their actions when I feel like I am trying to be family-oriented and they are only looking at what is best for themselves. I mean, aren’t parents supposed to be looking out for their kids? How do I keep forgiving when they keep needing forgiveness?


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